Silence Your Inner Critic: Overcoming Imposter Syndrome
May 29, 2024
Kishar Spiritual (with John Lawyer)
Struggling with self-doubt and feeling like a fraud? Discover how to silence your inner critic and overcome imposter syndrome in this transformative episode.
We explore practical strategies and insights to help you embrace your true self and grow spiritually. In this discussion, we'll look into what imposter syndrome is, its impact on your personal and professional life and why it affects so many people.
We'll share powerful techniques to challenge and change your negative thought patterns, celebrate your achievements and build a supportive community. Learn how to replace self-doubt with self-compassion, harness the power of mindfulness and meditation, and ultimately step into your authentic self.
By the end of this episode, you'll have the tools to recognize and combat imposter syndrome, but also learn how to thrive and inspire others on their journeys.
Struggling with self-doubt and feeling like a fraud? Discover how to silence your inner critic and overcome imposter syndrome in this transformative episode.
We explore practical strategies and insights to help you embrace your true self and grow spiritually. In this discussion, we'll look into what imposter syndrome is, its impact on your personal and professional life and why it affects so many people.
We'll share powerful techniques to challenge and change your negative thought patterns, celebrate your achievements and build a supportive community. Learn how to replace self-doubt with self-compassion, harness the power of mindfulness and meditation, and ultimately step into your authentic self.
By the end of this episode, you'll have the tools to recognize and combat imposter syndrome, but also learn how to thrive and inspire others on their journeys.
Imposter syndrome is this ghost that haunts even the most successful among us. I've had some amazing success and achievements in my life, but I still feel like I deal with it. Today we're going to talk about it, but more importantly, we're going to try to uncover powerful strategies to help you conquer it, where you can grow spiritually and you'll embrace this incredible person that you truly are inside. If you're ready to silence those doubts and step into your true power, please stick with me. And later, I'm going to let you know what I think the most important thing is in overcoming imposter syndrome. Am I an imposter? And that's not just a rhetorical question. It's something that I've seriously asked myself and considered a lot of times. You know, we're these imperfect creatures, and we have doubt and fear. And over the last three years, I've worked and studied probably more than 6000 hours to learn everything I could about spirituality, religion, philosophy, self-improvement. I knew I wanted to help people help themselves, and I knew I couldn't do that if I wasn't, like, super knowledgeable in a wide range of studies. And I've taken hundreds of pages of notes. I spoken with dozens of people about a wide range of spiritual concepts, and I still have seen myself and asked myself, who am I to be a spiritual teacher? I said that I'm not knowledgeable enough. I've asked who would listen to me. I thought, what do I know? during this process, I think I read 60 books once in four months, and this whole thing started for me because I had this deep moment of understanding and clarity of the universe. It was this oneness, this connection with everything. But that hasn't meant that I didn't have questions and fears and doubts. Before we can fully have this conversation. You have to have some background on what impostor syndrome actually is. It's a psychological pattern where people doubt their accomplishments and have this persistent fear of being exposed as a fraud. It affects almost 70% of people at some point in their lives. That's a big statistic. And this is a feeling where you feel like a fraud, despite the fact that you have evidence that you absolutely aren't afraid that you actually are enough, that you you do know these things, and it means that you should know your strengths and then put it out there, but you can't. It leads to persistent self-doubt, nervousness, negative self-talk, and it can be accompanied by anxiety and depression. Imposter syndrome was originally identified by these two psychologists, Suzanne Imes and Pauline Klans, back in the 70s, and they were studying high achieving women. And that's when they discovered this phenomenon of imposter syndrome. And they saw that it wasn't just these women, these high achieving women that were affected by it. It was pretty much people across all spectrums of society. What are the characteristics and symptoms of this problem? Self-doubt. This persistent feeling of not being good enough or deserving success. It could be undervaluing contributions, believing that your achievements are due to some kind of luck. Or maybe external factors. Perfectionism is deeply linked to imposter syndrome. It's where you have this unrealistic and high standard and you feel disappointed when you fall short of it, and perfect probably doesn't exist. And this is concrete reality that we all share with one another. It might exist as this divine thing deep inside of you, but that's different than perfection in your day to day life. people have fear of exposure, and that's a symptom. Maybe you're constantly afraid of being found out as a fraud. The crazy thing is, you aren't a fraud in the first place. That's what impostor syndrome is all about. And ask yourself, are you a constant overachiever? Have you worked excessively hard to prove yourself like throughout your life? There’s self-sabotage. Do you make poor decisions or procrastinate due to fear of not meeting certain expectations? You could experience burnout or exhaustion from continuous overworking that you're doing to cover up perceived inadequacies. It's not that you're inadequate. It's not that you can't do it, or won't do it, or won't live up to it, is that you perceive that you are. And there's a big difference, because if you think about it, usually you accomplish what you want to accomplish when you set out to do it, regardless of the fear. So you have all these, these, these fears of inadequacy, but you actually usually carry through with it. I think keep that in mind as you're thinking about imposter syndrome. Doctor Valerie Young says there's five types of imposter syndrome. One's perfectionists, which we've already covered. There's the expert who feels inadequate for not knowing everything. There's the archetype of the natural genius that feels like a fraud if something doesn't come naturally to them. Despite all this evidence that we know that things require practice or education to accomplish something. So we have this evidence that we have to learn. We have to practice in order to be able to do something. But sometimes we get frustrated because we can't. Have you ever gotten frustrated because you just felt like There's the soloist archetype that feels fraudulent. If they need help from others, they can't reach out and ask for help because they feel like they have to do it alone. You have the super person who believes they have to achieve the highest levels of anything or everything, or they're a fraud. And we know that very rarely in life does that super person exist. There's sometimes we we end up with these Renaissance people, these people that are tremendous, extraordinary human beings. But it's very rare. So how do you experience imposter syndrome? Let me know in the comments. Let's have an honest conversation about it. Let's talk about it. Let's look at the causes and contributing factors to imposter syndrome. There might be family factors where your upbringing might overemphasize achievement. critical parenting or inconsistent praise and criticism can warp your worldview and make you think that I've got to do this, or I've got to do that in order to have fulfillment, when actually really the only type of thing that you need for fulfillment is whatever is answering that thing inside of you that says, this is who I am. It might be new roles and transitions. That could be stress points. It could be a new job that you're starting, an educational opportunity maybe going to college, or you're going to learn a new skill, and maybe you're getting feelings of inadequacy because it's scary. Maybe it's it's not what you thought it would be, and it could just be the unknown. Maybe we were the best at something, and then we moved out into the world and realized that other people were great at these things as well. It wasn't just us, you know. And instead of, being upset about that, And instead of, being upset about that, being jealous or letting it scare us, we can embrace kind of the greatness around us, the knowledge, the wisdom and then we can be part of a community with other people and their personality traits that increase our susceptibility to imposter syndrome. It could be OCD or neuroticism. It might be low self-esteem. Social anxiety can overlap with imposter syndrome and competitive environments, and these societal pressures can magnify our feelings of inadequacy and cause us to feel like we're imposter. Think about the impact on your life and your work in your professional life. It leads to dissatisfaction, burnout, and it might even cause you to be reluctant to pursue career advancement So then you get stuck. So you're afraid of being this imposter. And because of that, you don't advance. You don't get to that place where you you need or want to be. And within your personal life, it directly impacts relationships in your own self-esteem. This takes you through frustration and shame. It could lead to depression. If your success doesn't alleviate these feelings of being a fraud, of being an imposter, then you get more anxiety and more self-doubt. And so this cycle just keeps repeating itself, and it kind of never ends. So it's like, it's like this self licking ice cream cone. And look at this. Sometimes from systemic influences. There's bias and discrimination out there in our society. Sometimes in our workplace, in our community. And that can contribute to imposter syndrome. If people tell you that you're not good enough, you're going to be prone to believe that if you're told that enough, it conditions us. So even if people don't directly tell you that you aren't good enough, there may be this underlying sub context that leads you to believe that it's true, and that sub context may be real, and in some cases it probably doesn't exist at all. It's just something that you think is there. But the difference is small because if you believe it, it becomes your reality. So think about that again. If you believe it, it becomes your reality. That's really important. And we're gonna kind of cover that a little bit more later. So what are the strategies to overcome imposter syndrome? Question your core beliefs, challenge these deeply ingrained negative beliefs about your self-worth and your competence. Share your feelings about it and talk about these feelings of being imposter with people that you trust that will reduce these thoughts. Power over you. The spiritual community that sponsors this channel host a community where people have discussions just like this. The journey is often warmer and more welcoming than we realize, so check us out at Kishar.org. The link is in the description. We can also assess our abilities and make realistic evaluations of our own skills and our own accomplishments. To say, no, I'm good at this and I've accomplished this. And that's when you know your worth. And that's part of this process. And it takes sometimes baby steps where you focus on achieving tasks reasonably well rather than perfectly. And you say, man, that's good enough for me. I'm happy with this. This is okay. And you can challenge irrational thoughts and beliefs about being a fraud because you're not. Stop comparing and understand your own personal growth. Don't worry about what other people are doing. We have no idea what most people's story is. We might have a superficial understanding of it from what they've told us, what we've seen, what we've heard from other people, but we really don't know what their story is. So comparison is a very dangerous thing. Be very content and be very accepting of what you're doing and how you're doing it. And part of that process is moderating our social media. Understand that there are so many unrealistic portrayals of people on social media. We know that right? And this absolutely doesn't mean that you have to quit social media. There's a way to approach social media in a healthy way. Just refuse to let impostor syndrome hold you back. Go ahead and pursue your goals despite these feelings of being a fraud. Maybe you maybe the type of person that just says you know what? You're right. I'm just gonna throw this aside and I'm going to march on. Sometimes that's the approach. You can seek professional help. You can find a coach or a guide who can help you through this process, where you understand you're not an imposter. sometimes we have to accept feelings. We have to lean in to the feelings of inadequacy and understand and address them. When I say accept them, I don't mean we have to say this is how we're always going to be. We say, okay, this is how I feel. I'm going to accept that. And how do I move past it? And that's an amazing tool on your spiritual path. Ask yourself, what is enough? How much is enough? And can you accept that you're where you need to be? I think that's important. If we're here right now. Wherever it is you're you're at right now. This is where you need to be. And that's a really big piece of awareness as we kind of walk down this spiritual path and spirituality and imposter syndrome absolutely intersect, self-doubt and negative talk blocks your spiritual growth. There's this fear of failure that prevents you from embracing your spiritual journey. No journey is going to look like we thought it should look. Impostor syndrome is going to lead you to feel isolated, and maybe this disconnects you from your spiritual community or makes you afraid to engage with others. Maybe you're afraid to get out there and talk about a subject or be vulnerable. Vulnerability is a huge thing If you can be vulnerable about something, then you can have a really great conversation about it. And and that's really vulnerability is is a huge part of walking down this path of spiritual growth. It's about embracing your true self. That's authenticity. So you know who you truly are. Instead of conforming to anybody else's expectations. Listen to your own inner voice. Trust your intuition. And when it comes to overcoming imposter syndrome, I think one thing may really stand out above everything else. It's knowing what your higher purpose or your dharma is. What are you meant to do in this world? If it's your dharma, then imposter syndrome is going to melt away because you're walking the best path for you. Then you form your own reality. we talked a little bit about reality earlier. what you think, what you feel, the energy that you put out into the universe that's going to be your reality. So when you understand that you literally been reality around you and the things that you need and want to happen will happen, you just have to believe it. And there's practical tips for dealing with imposter syndrome. So you're you're walking down the spiritual path. You understand that, that you've got imposter syndrome, you've got your spiritual path. You've got these practical everyday life that you're living. as you're going through that, understand that the voice that is the source of internal sabotage is in there. Once you identify it, it makes it easier to not listen to it. It's important. So identify it then you don't have to listen to it. You can make lists to combat these feelings of inadequacy, and you can acknowledge your own competence. Shift your focus from external achievements to personal values like be more excited about meeting your own personal value than some external goal or achievement from other people, and reframe your whole perspective around growth. View life, your career, your relationships as this journey of growth and learning. And once you embrace the journey, instead of always being laser focused on the goal, your perspective is going to shift. You get out of your own head, and you can also discuss these fears with someone, or write them down to reduce their power. As for people, journal journaling is really great and it removes a lot of things from your mind, your soul, and it puts them down on paper or ones and zeros, and it helps take them away. This these negative things out of you. And you might introduce daily affirmations to combat self doubt. There is great power in the spoken word when you say things out loud to yourself, it it can change your whole day I am exactly what I say I am, and that's part of practicing compassion for yourself, understanding that self-love and self-care are important to going out there and kind of owning yourself. Be kind to yourself and recognize that mistakes are part of being human. We all make mistakes. We're never not going to make mistakes. So go out there and expect mistakes to happen. And when they do, learn from them. Keep failure in perspective into growth. Learn from failures instead of letting it define you. And as you're doing this, you can practice mindfulness. mindfulness meditation will help you in those five, ten, 15, 20 minutes that you do it in the morning. But when you start to do that over, days and weeks at a time beyond that time where you're just meditating, you're going to be more mindful throughout the day. That's the beauty of mindfulness meditation, and that's going to help you combat things like imposter syndrome. You're just going to function better in your daily life, and then you get to celebrate your achievements. You know, know that what you're doing is awesome. And like I said, continue learning. Because if you aren't always learning, then you're not getting stronger. So keep learning all the time. You're going to get stronger. And how can you be an imposter if you're always getting better? Look at it like that. If I'm always getting better, if I'm always learning from my mistakes and from these things that happen around me, I can't be an imposter. Identifying and addressing imposter syndrome is going to be crucial for your personal spiritual growth, and then you'll grow and see abundance in all aspects of your life. Transform feelings of inadequacy into gratitude for your achievements. If you're grateful for what you have, your life is going to greatly improve. Imposter syndrome is not a reflection of your abilities, but it's a challenge for you to overcome. It's a sign that you're pushing your boundaries and stepping into this new space. you're really leaning forward. Otherwise you probably wouldn't have imposter syndrome. You're here for a reason, with unique gifts and a purpose that only you can feel that Dharma, the higher purpose we were talking about By recognizing and challenging these false doubts, you reclaim this power, and you may even inspire others to do the same. That's great. Right? So take a deep breath and celebrate your journey. Step into your true self. The world is waiting for your light and this is where I encourage you to be the main character in your own story. Check out this video on writing your own story and walking a path not given to you by society. Until next time, I wish you peace on your journey.
