Connection, Healing and Holistic Spirituality (Bonus Episode)

Welcome to the first episode of our live show! I'm John Lawyer, your host, and I'm excited to kick off this journey with you. Each Friday at 7:00 PM Central, we'll delve into various spiritual topics, feature guest co-hosts, and engage with questions from our live audience.

For our first episode, I'm thrilled to introduce Amber McCray, a therapeutic nutritionist and the host of the "Connection Over Perfection" podcast. Amber brings a wealth of knowledge in holistic nutrition and emotionally focused therapy coaching, helping women reconnect with themselves and others after trauma. Her compassionate and insightful approach to healing is truly inspiring.

In this episode, Amber shares her personal journey, from her transformative experiences with her daughter and brother to her deep dive into holistic healing practices. We explore the importance of connection, the power of active listening and validation, and the profound impact of being authentically yourself.

We also discuss the fascinating intersection of spirituality and nutrition, the significance of grounding, and the essential role of self-care in our daily lives. Amber's candid and heartfelt stories offer valuable insights into the human experience and the paths to spiritual and emotional healing.

Don't miss this enlightening conversation! Be sure to check out Amber's podcast and explore her resources on her Linktree, which we'll display throughout the show. 


Key Topics Covered:

Amber McCray's background and expertise

The importance of connection and active listening

Personal stories of healing and transformation

The intersection of spirituality and nutrition

Practical daily spiritual practices, including grounding and journaling


Follow Amber McCray:

Amber's Podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/amber-mccrea

Amber's Linktree: https://linktr.ee/ambermccrea

Amber's Main Website: https://ambermccrea.com/


Follow Us:

Check us out at https://kishar.org


Subscribe and Join the Conversation:

Don't forget to subscribe to our channel and join us live every Friday at 7:00 PM Central. Share your thoughts and questions with us in the comments!


#Spirituality #Healing #HolisticHealth #Connection

Transcript

0:34

well, welcome to the show, Amber. Thanks for having me. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. All right, well, this is our very first live show. We're going to be doing this every Friday at 7:00 central. I'm John Lawyer. I'm a soldier who spent years in combat zones in Kuwait, Iraq and Afghanistan. And now I'm a spiritual seeker and sometimes a guide. And so each week we're going to feature a different co-host, and we're going to be discussing different spiritual topics, getting questions from the crowd. And I'd like to introduce you all to Amber McCray. And, this should be a fun show. Yeah. I'm excited. Thank you for having me. I appreciate it. Yeah. I think this is interesting because I'm used to being a guest. I've been a guest on, like this. I've. You know, you're used to being a host. You host your. I know I'm nervous. You're nervous. It's like roles were reversed completely, completely switched around. So, this should be. This should be interesting. I, I, you know, I, I want to say that, Amber, such a kind person. She's so spiritually oriented. I was, lucky enough to be on her TikTok live last week. we had a great time. and I want everybody to know that they can check her out on her podcast connection over perfection. give it a look. And can you tell us a little bit about yourself? Amber? Yeah. So, I'm Amber McCray. I'm a therapeutic nutritionist. And basically what that means is I am a certified holistic nutritionist, but I also do emotionally focused therapy coaching. so basically I work with the whole body, mind, body, soul. And, so I work from both sides of the spectrum. I help women learn how to reconnect to themselves and others after trauma because that shit's a bitch. And oh, are we I don't know, like how you feel about that on this side, you can say whatever you want. Okay. but. So I use lots of different modalities, but, it's been a tough journey for me. And so I just want to let people know that they're not alone. And that's one of the reasons that we kind of connected. I was like, oh, yeah, you speak the language. This is amazing. and so it was definitely an honor and a blessing to have you on my, my show, which is connection over perfection. I have a podcast, all about everything that I just told you guys about. Okay. All right. Well, you know, for the viewers, if you guys have questions, just post them and we'll try to get to them during the show. and, you know, we're actually going to be putting ambers, Linktree in the, the banner that runs across the screen every so often. You guys can check out her website. she's got, a podcast, her discord, you can subscribe to her content or even book a, 30 minute consultation with her discovery call. Thank you. Zoom. And so check that out. Also has links to her socials, and we'll have that ticking across the screen every now and then. I speaking, you guys are on it. This is amazing. I mean, it's it's a lot. So we're trying to figure it out. It's like you guys are doing great. Take a deep breath. You got this. It's a bunch of toys, so we're trying to figure it out. but speak your website. I love your website. I, I love the show, and, she did an amazing job. Yeah. Stacy was talking about the owl coming down on the homepage, this morning. So, I thought that was pretty cool. So. Yeah, I spent a lot of time, moolah and energy. Allie Jean, she's amazing. She really helped me. pull that to life, so I'm in love with it. Yeah. It's always tough getting, getting everything set up just right. You know? I know how it goes as a content creator. Yes. And then if you have to change something. No, no, it's it's staying the same for, like, at least two years. Like, I need to change that. I'm not going to make a change that. So, you know, we've talked quite a bit over the last month or two. Yeah, I'm interested in, like. Yeah. How did you kind of get to this point in, in your life down this spiritual path? it always makes me super emotional. So there was kind of two, three elements that kind of brought me to where I am. So the first one was, I almost lost my daughter and my brother to, just not wanting to be here and both required me to. Change the way that I viewed everything. When you get to a point and you try to fix things and you try to, do all of the things, but nothing's working. And, so one was my daughter. I'll try to make it short. My daughter, I just couldn't connect. nothing I was doing. So I went to a counselor. I went to several counselors. Finally, I went to one that said, if you want to help your daughter, you will come to this chair and sit here every week. There's nothing wrong with your daughter. And, that was a huge piece of humble pie that I had to bite off. And I was like, okay, so I did that. So that was one aspect. And then, my brother was in the military, and when you watch, I'm super emotional. Holy crap. When you watch somebody disappear, and the only thing that you have is that little bit of connection, that's really all that matters. And so I had to throw out trying to fix and just be present and love them where they were when I started to just love them, where they were. That's when our connection, that bridge started to change. And so that's kind of where I know that is 100% where connection over perfection came from. And it just kind of snowballed from there. Is that really the most important thing in this world is connection to me? And, yeah. So that's how the connection part started. The nutrition part started when my son was having stomachaches and, headaches. Doctors just chalked it up to it's he's a boy. And I did a lot of research, and I started, I like to do think outside of the box. So say there is no more doctors. What do you do then? I like to educate myself on, alternative TVs and things like that. That's how it started. And I found this test, which was an, delayed food allergy test that the doctors wouldn't give me. And so I got it through my school and come to find out everything healthy I was feeding him, he was allergic to, which was causing him the headaches and stomach aches. so I went down a more eastern medicine path. I think that Western medicine serves the purpose for a short term, but for a long term, eastern medicine is my go to. I love that. Well, first of all, I want to I want to say thank you so much for sharing that powerful story and that that vulnerability. I know, you know, I've talked about power, vulnerability. Yeah, it's different being on this side. I like asking the questions. Right? Yeah. Right now it's good. It's healthy. Right. It says it's yeah, it is, it is. no, that's powerful stuff. And I love the origin of that kind of connection in the name of your, kind of your, your program stuff and your, your podcast and how it came up came about, I and I think that when it comes to our diet and what we eat in our gut and how that's connected to our, not just our daily life and how we feel just moving through the world, but connected to how we feel like in our soul. Right. our spirit, I mean, a lot of people believe that our spirit lives in our gut. It's like that intuition. Exactly. And I mean, like, I, you know, we you look at the the stomach and the gut and it's got, as many neurons as a cat or a dog's brain. And they call it our second brain. And so we know that it has this tremendous power over us. And, you know, I, I subscribe, you know, I'm a universalist. I believe in a lot of different stuff. But I really like Hinduism. I always have and, you know, the yogis and and yoga, you know, it's it's beyond all the poses and the breathwork and everything. It's the Veda and the, how we eat and what we eat and when we eat and how we, how we are mentally and spiritually as we're eating you know, it all. It all plays everything. It's connected. Yeah, absolutely. and I, I find that coming up in a lot of different spiritual circles, and it's not an it's becoming way more is transcending kind of that eastern, that's now becoming more, more mainstream. Thankfully. Yeah. And it's I think it's absolutely insane and hilarious that it's like new medicine or like alternative when it's actually this has been around forever. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, like, yeah, the, I mean, we know like we know it goes back at least 4000 years to Vedic history. Right. So like it's been it's been around for a long time. yeah. And proven and. Oh yeah, I can't get off on a whole tangent about medicine and medical it at all. I mean, I, I, you know, I, I've had my own experience with like massive stress and having to go to the ER for GI issues and and them telling me that, you know, they do scopes and everything with you. I've told this story before but like, and then at the end it was just my brain, and my gut talking to each other in a really kind of violent way. So. So, it's that idea. Yeah. If you don't take care of yourself, like your body will eventually, call it do and let you know, like the taxes, you know, so you have to take care of it. Exactly. Yeah. And, you know, all disease is it's your body saying, hey, something's going on. You just have gotten to a point where it's really bad. Yeah, absolutely. Well, you know, as I was kind of I was going through your website this week, you know, preparing for the show, and I saw that you you've emphasized and you just talked about it earlier about how important connection is in your life and how essential it is. And I, I love that because I believe that especially, you know, if we're walking a spiritual path, I think sometimes people think it's that dark night of the soul or it's that lonely thing, right? But I don't think it has to be like, it's, you know, we're communal animals. We're tribal animals were hurt animals. We very much want to be around other people. We want to be connected to other people. And you say specifically that it's not about trying to. It's not about trying to change someone else or fix them. It's about loving people right where they're at. And so I'd like I just kind of want to hear your thoughts on that because, I mean, it's just from your. Yeah, it's something that I'm really big on because I think this in this society, we're so focused on fixing and part my belief is that that comes from fear, the fear we need you to be okay so that we can be okay. And a lot of people think like it's coming from a caring spot, which it is. But it's more selfish than maybe a lot of us would like to admit is, I need you to be okay so that I can be okay. And when we talk about suicide, when we talk about, you know, those really big things, it brings up a lot of fear for people. And so we're not able to actually be present and hear and validate what is happening for the person that we're talking to. So active listening and validation, I think are life savers because all people want is to be heard and seen, valued and feel safe and that comes from active listening and validation. And all that means is like, you know. If I were to say, you know, I'm I'm super depressed right now, most people would be like, oh, well, you know, just go outside, eat healthy, go, go, take a walk that will help you. And I'm like, I don't want to fucking hear that right now. Duh. I know that what I need is fuck Amber, I see that you're not okay right now. Like, how can I be here for you? Like, I I've I've been there that shit is tough. Like, I'm just going to hold space for you right now, and it's okay to not be okay. Yeah. So. Okay. But we're not taught that, like, it's. I mean, now we're coming to it's more common, but, you know, even growing up is you can't cry. I'll give you a reason to cry. Like I was already crying. I have a reason to cry. My reason wasn't good enough. Right? So it's just invalidation after invalidation and, Yeah, I could talk about hours, hours and hours on this topic, but, I just I really think that learning how to be okay with others not being okay is a huge shift, and it allows us to one look at what the fuck is happening for us. Like right now. I'm scared. Right now. I'm anxious, you know, and then. Okay, I recognize that about me now, what's happening for the other person. And I think so many people get scared that if I were to say, say somebody was to come to me and be like, you know, I don't want to be here anymore. Some people would freak, freak out and be like, well, I have to take you here. We have to do this. What do I need to do? Instead of just like, dude, I got it. It makes so much sense that you don't want to be here right now. Like, life is a lot. I've been there. Like, that makes so much sense. The more that we try to fix it, that the more we push people away. Actually, instead of just allowing that space. I don't know where I was going with that. No, I mean, it makes sense. You're talking about like, letting people be themselves, holding space for them. It's okay to not oh, you know, I was going to say that a lot of people feel like if you validate that you're saying or enabling that person and providing permission to do what they're doing, or agreeing with the way that they're doing it or how they feel that that's for you too. But that's not it. Validation is literally just acknowledging how the other person feels has absolutely nothing to do with you. Yeah, well, I think a lot of what a lot of how we end up getting in trouble in our lives is by projecting our own thoughts, feelings and values and beliefs on someone else or, you know, expecting them to think like we think and have the same perspective that we do. And I think it's so hard to think like there's people out there that don't see the world like we do. And I mean, because always, you know, which we're, you know, we're the center of our universe, which can be a good thing sometimes it's a bad thing. because too much of a good thing is not good. We don't realize that there's people who rarely see things the way that we see things. And yeah, even small shifts make like this huge difference in in how someone else sees something or even like we can when we shift our perspectives. It really small things and pieces of information that we get from the world around us can change pretty significantly. How we look at something. Well, I just did a podcast with somebody and I believe it was with Ben Ofana, and he said, it's like a puddle. There's a puddle, and I'm standing on one side of the puddle and you're standing on the other side of the puddle. Well, the reflection of what we see is going to be different from every angle, but we're still looking in the same puddle. Neither one of us are right or wrong. Yeah, I like, but it's just what we see. Well, I love the idea that neither one of us is right or wrong, because I that goes back to, perspective and and we are we're taught very much, absolutes. you know, that's why we love duality. Yeah. So, yeah, I totally agree with that. So it it almost sounds like, as we're talking about this, the, the if you really want to change someone else, if you're, if you're really, you weren't trying to fix someone else. Really what you have to do is go back to yourself and just take care of yourself. And then that solves a lot of problems. Yeah. And I think, you know, we don't know what safe connections are like. Nobody really talks about or. No, because we've never experienced that growing up. I mean, I, I've experienced safe connections now because I'm so adamant about, surrounding myself with them. Right. But until I met my counselor, I never even knew what a safe connection was. And for me, safety just means feeling seen, heard, valued, and, And just honored where where I am so. I forgot what I was saying. I'm not nervous. You're nervous? I'm a little nervous. I've been, I've been. I bet you're sweating ball sacks over here. Yeah. You know, I was like. I've been a little nervous all week. Me, too. I was trying not to think about it. so I think we were talking about. I don't know, but let's go on. I had a point. Let's look at, like spirituality in general. I mean, like, I mean, I believe that spirituality is whatever that person kind of sees it. And I think it's very different for each person. So like if someone asked you what spirituality to you, what's your what's your response? I'm still discovering it. it's a good it's a great answer. And it took me a really long time to get there. and that's the first time I've actually said that out loud, and it felt really good. There's so much guilt and shame and judgment. I grew up Southern Baptist, and that was like as well. it so for me, religion is is all fear based. so much is fear based. Yeah. Everything. Yeah, exactly. Fear based. And so for me, I don't know exactly what I believe in. Like as far is, is it God? Is it spirit? Is it universe, is it Mother Earth? Yeah. Yeah, I think it's all of that. It I don't, you know, I don't have one definitive answer. and I used to be really ashamed of that because growing up, it was like, you believe in God or you're going to hell. Like I don't question anything else. And I heard somebody say that it's okay that you're discovering it, like. And I was like, wait, what? That's okay. So I don't know. For me, I'm spiritual. And that means that. I believe in things outside of myself more powerful. But also I believe that that comes from within. So I don't it goes back and forth. I'm not I don't have one solid answer for that. No, I think that's, that's one of the best answers I could ever hear. I, I because for me, I think the three most powerful words put together in the English language might be, I don't know, and, and I think that's, that's part of it is like, it's, it's the, it's we're always in this journey of discovery and, you know, the things that we know today are vastly different from the things that we knew 2000 years ago or 4000 years ago or whatever. But at the same time. A lot of the things we know now are the same. So, you know, it's it's like things changes, you know, but they don't change. And so but everything, you know, I go back to everything that I've studied, everything that I've seen. It still all points in a very similar direction. that's why I like to be able to have an open mind and talk to people that also have an open mind, because it's not just about like what questions we ask each other, but how we ask the questions. Again, that perspective that we're coming from because again, perspective so important and and that the answers might change the answers to like what what what we what we know as far as the without like you talked about there's, you know, whatever's out there beyond us and whatever's inside of us and is it the same thing. And so like like you said, nature, universe. Well, you know, it comes in a lot of different names. but exactly, it all kind of looks the same. Very. And so I, I love being able to have these conversations because I might learn something new and be like, oh, that shifts my perspective, right? But I used to be a very different person. I used to be very judgmental, very close minded, and a very small thinker. And so now I'm like, that just doesn't feel right for me. And so I'm kind and there's no supposed to BS in my book. And that's something that really helped me. There's no supposed to BS who said that I had to believe in one thing or had to believe in one book or, yeah. Right. Well, I think that's important because that seems to be a thing that keeps coming back. Who said that? Right. And like we're told that by all these different people, throughout our lives. Right. So then then we I think part of spirituality is, you know, what do we tell ourselves? What do we then that just is, is kind of our view after that. Like, and we get to decide it's our decision. It's not something that's predetermined by this book that we read or this person's, it's, you know, is dressed a certain way and looks a certain way and is, you know, possibly or not ordained by some divinity, like standing at the pulpit. Yeah. Right. that's that's so, you know, and that's, that's really so for us, for, for our spiritual community, you know, keycards that's what we were all about. It's why we were founded on is to kind of be able to have discussions just like this and to bring open minded people together so that they could, inform each other. And then people could could look at it, could watch it could, could kind of digest it and decide what empowers them within themselves. And so a big part of, of my life has been reading books. I, I read a ton as a child. I think it was the best education that I could have ever gotten was just reading. I, I was surrounded, but I was lucky enough my parents surrounded my sister and I with books, so there were always books in my house. They were books on the the staircase. There was a bookshelf on the staircase and there was stacks of books. Sounds like heaven. And it was, most of the time. and, and so I believe that's who I am, I am I who I am today, and in large part because of the books that I was able to read, all for all that time and, I think it helped me as a soldier when I, when I was in the desert all those years in combat, I read a lot. I read, I read some books, but, I mean, I read stuff that was relevant to my job. It's how. It's why I was so good at it. people would be like, hey, how come you're so good at your job? And I'd be like, well, I read a lot. but I say all this more to say what? What books have been really important and foundational. To date for you. Like, what are the ones that if someone came up to you and they're like, hey, what are the three books that I need to read to, like, figure this stuff out? So if I had to say one and you could see how much it's loved. and it's like, highlighted everywhere. This kind of brought me on my journey. And it's Spirit Junkie by Gabrielle Bernstein. and. Yeah. And this one really hit home for me. There's just. I think coming from the church, this helped me connect to the more spiritual part because I of when I left, when I was leaving the church, I learned a lot about Holy Spirit, and that was actually one of the things that turned me off from the church is because I was like, why don't we talk about Holy Spirit? More like, this is the important part, this why we have a bunch of church members that are mean and judgmental because they are for sure lacking that Holy Spirit. Like they don't hear God. They think they do, but they're not. I don't know what they're listening to the preacher. But anyway, so for me, learning about the Holy Spirit and really being in tune and learning to listen to that and then kind of switching over to this, and she calls it that inner guide. It was really important for me learning to listen to that, whatever the fuck you want to call it, Holy Spirit, gut intuition, it's all the same thing, but it's that tiny little voice, or sometimes mine curses at me. So, you know, we have a love hate relationship, so this book was was monumental because it taught me about that part, about listening and really that permission that I needed to do whatever it told me. And I took that to heart, y'all. I, my family thought I was crazy. I mean, I am crazy about it. I be like, I'm sorry I can't go to the birthday party because my inner guide said not to go today. I can't go for this walk because I'm feeling my inner guide said no. It gave me permission to blame it on something else because I was learning boundaries and I would. I wouldn't use it as a scapegoat. I would really be listening. So it's like a muscle. We have to start and use it, right? So it talked about that. It also talked about like teeny mad ideas and how fear. So fear versus love and how like the ego works. And I mean my mind and my viewpoint has changed a lot. But I would say hands down, if I had one book to just grab you really hard, but I would still grab this book. Okay. Yeah. I, I love that. Well, and I think that when you say you're using your voice as an excuse, but at the same time, it's not an excuse because it just is the way, like dusty just said, we're all we're all crazy. Normal is a social construct. I definitely agree with that. all the cool people are crazy. What is normal? Right? everybody's just pretending to be normal. I'm convinced that I'm convinced that everybody is out there just putting, putting this facade on this veneer of what they're supposed to be. And so we don't really know what normal is because we're always looking through this facade or veneer, and we can't most people don't let us see through it, and most people won't show it to the world. And so, right, because it's not safe. It's not safe. Right. Because and, and, you know, that goes back to, what's safe and that that's important because I think that's what we were talking about on our I was one you were talking about a little bit last week on your TikTok is, our mind and our ego are perfectly content for us to maintain the status quo and just feel safe because you don't want it doesn't want to change because it doesn't want us to to be harmed or to die or to to be hurt. So it's perfectly content for us to walk that like zombie ish gray path that, has been carved out for us by, our parents and teachers and coworkers and, and leaders and community and and all of that. So it's an it's encouraged. Yeah. And you are I mean, when I started doing this, I thank God for the internet. I'm just going to say that because nobody in my immediate life supported me. I mean, my husband supported me, but everybody else, we were the black sheep. I mean, everybody's like, you're pulling your kid out of school, you're doing this. You're doing what, what, what? I mean, they thought we were they were worried for us. Right? And so it was really lonely. Yeah. I think that, I think it's one of the reasons people don't like to change and people don't like, do keep that veneer up because they fear that the connections they have. And we talked a lot about connection tonight, that if we change those connections that we value or that are important to us or that that sustain us will not be connected to anymore if we change because people will judge us or people and often people do. I mean, that's a fear for a valid reason, because sometimes when we do change, we do lose. you do, we lose. We lose people. We lose organizations. We lose our affiliation. Jobs. Yeah. That don't align with our new, values or beliefs that we're forming. Yeah. Well, and, you know, that goes to the core. I think everybody's core is the root of fear of abandonment. To be alone. Yeah. Which is valid because we're created for connection. But exactly. Yeah. And you had talked about. Oh, go ahead. we had talked about, you know, safety and connections and that most people don't know what that is. It's because this work is very experiential, providing safety. People have to feel what safety feels like in order to ever give something. Because if you've never experienced it, you can't know what it is or give it out. And so this is why, my friend and I always have a debate. It's like, okay, is can you do it alone, or do you have to have people? And I'm like, I think you can do it alone to a certain extent. But then you can only get so far. Yeah. I think it's, at a very base level. This goes back into that we have to take care of ourselves first before we really take care of anybody else. So there's that. There's that first step of taking care of yourself and understanding that, like, you're the most important thing in the world and that you love yourself completely and that, self-love is becoming this more discussed thing now, thankfully. But once we take that first step, then, then once we if we want to go out and like because I always say most of us aren't going to be monks living in the foothills of the Himalayas. So we have to go out and live in the real world. So with that, with that in mind, how do we do that? And usually it's with the support of people in whatever tribe that we found works for us. Yeah. And I think, like you were saying is that, we're not created to be alone, but in this world, it's really tough because we are programed to be alone. So again, you're going against the norm of what everybody else and yourself is programed to do. That's really scary. And so this is why I am so passionate about being the example. Right. So any religion or anything like that, you're talking about, you know, shoving it down people's throats and we're the example like just being being the example, be safe, be what? But be what you want to experience. And that does take a lot that I think that that does take having your own safe place because you need that validation to like coming back from the world that doesn't know how to give that right, or everyone else. in my opinion, you need that. So but that's why I'm so passionate about being safe for others so that they can experience what that safety feels like. And they're like, wait, I've never experienced that. Tell me more about that. And I think curiosity is that first step, you know? Okay. The first step is this isn't working for me. I need to figure out something else right. So then you get curious. No, I think curiosity is really cool thing, because if we're learning, then we're growing and growth is this, like beautiful thing seed. Yes. So we're created for connection. My question would be who created us? And is that purpose solely for humans, or is all life created for connection? That's a good question. I mean, I think I don't I mean, I won't answer for Amber. I'll let her answer after I kind of take this a little bit. But, you know, we were talking, last week about Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer, and it's talking about nature and how we're all connected and the oneness of everything. So for me, I think we are created for connection, but not just with humans. I think we're created to be connected to all this other stuff because, like, we're not in nature. We are nature like we're not in it, we're part of it. And so I, I believe that I'm a sentient as, a tree or sweetgrass or, a dog or a dolphin or whatever. so how do you look at that? Amber? again, this is that. I don't have an answer. I think that I believe in a lot of different things. I believe it's possible. I think I believe in possibility. I believe that it's possible that, I chose to be here in this round to accomplish something that I didn't in the past life. I believe that, I'm here for a purpose. I believe that, you know, like you said, we are part of everything, so I think anything can be possible. I think when we talk about purpose and what we're here for. One thing, I think the book was called light is the new dark or dark is one of those is people are always trying to find their purpose instead of understanding that you are your purpose. Being you is your purpose. And when you begin to authentically be you and what that feels like and what that looks like in, then that is your magic, that is your purpose. And you discover along that path how that looks as far as your job or where you are. But I in my opinion, our purpose is to solely be us and what that means, because for so long we have been programed to be something other than us, disconnected from ourselves. And so I think this journey, whether it's this time, I don't know, is learning how to reconnect to myself and others and helping others remember who the fuck that they are because we can forget. Sure. Yeah, yeah. Help others. And I love that you say authentically be yourself. Because I think that's a lot of problems get solved when we, like, are authentically ourselves. Like when we're when we're just being the way that we need to be. And, and I think there's a differentiation between like, what we think we need to be and what we want to be and then what we actually like at a base level need or want to be, and like figuring out if that's like our gut intuition talking to us or if that's like our mind kind of racing and giving us thoughts that are not very filtered and necessarily very helpful. Sometimes. And I think that good indicator, I was just working on a podcast about this, a good indicator for that, because so many people struggle with knowing the difference. I did for sure. But for me, again, is it out of fear? Now there's a difference between uncomfortability and fear because vulnerability is it's scary and it's uncomfortable. But is it moving us closer to where we want to be? My counselor says, move towards your greatest fear. Meaning most of our fear is abandonment. So how do we move closer to to honoring that and understanding that most of us work so hard to avoid it? Yeah, I like that. Moving closer to our fear, because then you can get to know it, right? You get to kind of understand what it's all about and like, and then we can get into, like, shadow work, like because. Because we tend to like. Yeah, we tend to when we're afraid of something, we tend to put it off. Even if we know that it's we know we can know that this thing is going to be something we have to come across and like face eventually. But we keep, pushing it, whether it's, a commitment or a financial thing or a relationship or whatever, it doesn't matter. Like it could be anything, but we we can know that it's something and we're afraid of it. And we just keep putting it off so we don't face it. We don't want to. We don't want to understand it. We like kind of protect ourselves from it, kind of unnecessarily because we're going to have to face it anyway. So, we're not really protecting ourselves from anything. We're just delaying the inevitable. Well, and then, you know, I think because we get, again, fear, fear that if we honor this deep anger or sadness, which are two things that people are like, I'm not going to feel that. We'll just push that aside. I'll be positive today. is that it actually is like a stronghold that keeps us there much, much longer. I've experienced when I actually honor and validate those feelings. they don't stay as long. But that fear that if I allow myself to cry, I'm going to stay on the bathroom floor and I'm not going to be able to get up. So we don't cry. And then it turns into all this other thing, I mean, this then we can get into health issues, right? When you hold in, why do you think we have so many people with, thyroid issues? Because we're not speaking our truth. Like, that's definitely connected to the throat chakra, right? Like what we do affects not just our emotions, not just our spirit. Not just mentally, but physically, because it's all fucking connected. All right, I love that. I love that you brought up that throat chakra because I, I got I got a dose of that this week. I had a sore throat earlier this week because I was stressed. When I get stressed, I get sometimes my stress manifest in my throat. So I, I needed to change this light bulb, this lamp in our living room. So I went and got one of those LED bulbs I put in the lamp, and I just set it to blue, and I was we were walking by it. I asked AC, I was like, what's the what's the blue shocker? She's like, that's the third chakra. I'm like, yeah, okay, that makes sense. So that's where I'm at this week. So yeah, we just I love the synchronicities. Yeah. Me too. Me too. yeah. And I, you know, you validate it, you you examine it, and there's acceptance there. Right? Acceptance is this beautiful thing where it, it frees us. Acceptances is freeing thing. It lets us remove or let go of these things that we're holding onto, really tightly sometimes, and for a really long time, sometimes for decades. For some people. Well, because it's catastrophic, that fear, you know, it, I'd say almost 100% goes back to something in our childhood. and. Those can be very detrimental. And that doesn't have to look like the big traumas. Right? you can experience severe trauma just by being left in your crib too long crying, and you now are instilled with this fear that nobody's coming for me. I'm abandoned. I'm here. I'm alone. Right. So in it, the body keeps the score. I would say that's another. That was a really, really good book. Might be my number two book, by the way. So, but that was a game changer. Yeah, it's a really good one. it just. Yeah. Everything affects us so much. I don't know where I was going with that. Well, kind of along those lines, everything affects us so much like when it comes to like, you and I both have, we're into like the metaphysics and the and stuff. Yes. But we also have this very practical approach of like hey, spirituality is about how do we live this every day? And walking through this reality. So like, like, what do you think is the most important thing that you do each day to kind of that's both spiritual and just kind of living your life. I mean, to be real, it's probably not every day, but there to be on my like, highest self is my morning, which when life hits, that's the first to go. So thanks for calling me out, John, I appreciate that. Yes, I hear you. I will start my morning again. but I would say my badass morning is what centers me. and I would say that it's like five minutes of journaling, breathing. It doesn't have to be anything crazy. It's just taking time for a reading. Journaling, sitting with myself. yeah. Those are so important. So my morning, grounding. I do grounded, like I do that every day. Actually. I ground every day. So, like, it's really hard to pick feet on the one thing. Feet. I'm. Yes. I'm barefoot. Right? Yes. Be on the earth. No, I know that's important. I was actually that's weird. It's another synchronicity. I was just talking to my sister about that a couple weeks ago. and she's like, you need to do more grounding. You need to just go out and, like, take your socks off and, like, go stand on grass, like, so you don't get, like, the scientific. The scientific part of it is in like for emfs and, you know, quantum dots and if you're going to get into that scientific, it's not just woowoo, it's like actually helps your health. No, I, I've, I've read some stuff on grounding and it there, there are studies that show that it actually it makes a difference in sleep. It makes a difference in a lot of things. It definitely has a cellular. Yeah. It's, it's a, it's a very base level thing that, is really important. And I mean, that goes that jumps right on the back of green space and people who live around green space live longer and healthier and, even if it's just people who live right next to a park in an urban area, they live longer. They have better health outcomes than, people that don't. Then that's in this city surrounded by a yeah. I mean, and that goes back to braiding sweetgrass, like just connecting with nature. It's that reciprocity is you're giving and taking. It's a, an energy exchange, a cleansing. Right. Just standing outside barefoot. You are it's drawing negative shit out of you. Right. And it's filtering it. And then in my opinion, and then giving you back that good energy. So. Right. No. And reciprocity is like that's the for me I love it's my favorite, probably my favorite spiritual word actually, because it's that it's that idea that everything is reciprocal, that it's that energy exchange and the idea of give and take, with everything. And it goes back to the balance and the duality of stuff. I think if I had to pick a word, duality would be it for me. Yeah. Okay. Well, not that you ask, but I thought I'd share. No, no, I, I, I love that because. I'm, I'm a big believer in, like, non-duality. Like I believe in, like the pantheistic oneness of the universe. But inside of, inside of that, I do believe there's all these dualities in, in the world and universe that we live in, like just because I believe in non non dwelling doesn't mean I think that people can also believe in both. Like there's the balance of things, that duality of things, and we see it everywhere, we see it and we see it so much in nature. but but we see it in our, the way that we kind of interact with other people and the way we interact with ourselves. So I think it always, it always comes up. Yeah. I love that perspective though, too. So and your healing program, you say, why guess when we can know. And I read that on your website and I, I really like that. can you kind of, talk about how you got to that that statement? Yeah. it was given to me by my mentor. So, the school that I graduated from, which I absolutely love, it really teaches the whole body healing, where I got my certification from. but I it taught me so much more than that. And there's. So this is why I combine Western medicine with eastern medicine, because we are given we have so much at our fingertips. Like one thing that I'm really passionate about is the delayed food allergy test. And. The effects of delayed food allergies is so vast psoriasis, eczema, inflammation, chronic fatigue, the bumps on, like, the back of the arms, headaches. the list is just insane, right? And so it's something that we don't talk about. There's literally a fucking test. The doctors won't give it to you, but you can go take a test, and it can tell you 184 foods and herbs of what your body is sensitive to. Of course, it's not a 100% nothing in science. It's we're always learning, we're always growing. But it's pretty damn accurate. and so food elimination, the diet of diet elimination, like trying to figure out what foods that you are allergic to just by removing them from your body or from your diet. The half life of your IgG antibody is 28 days, so this stays in your system up to at least 28 days. So if you're going to do a food elimination diet, you would have to remove this for at least 30 days to get it out of your system. Then you would have to give your body time to feel what it feels like without that in your system, and then you would have to reenter. Use it back. Who the fuck is going to do that with 184 foods and herbs? There's no possible way because you could eat also, you could eat gluten today and you'll get the effects three days later. How are you going to know that it was from that? But there's a test that says, hey, this is a really good starting point. Then you couple it with the the elimination diet. And so there's a million tests for gut for, you know. Everything. There's no reason that we need to guess what's going on. We have a fuck ton of tools. Right. And so there's a lot of doctors out there guessing. There's a lot of people out there just guessing, and they're not using the tools. You know, that's one of the things that just. Makes my blood boil that Western medicine. I'm like, I got into an argument. I'm like, why won't you give my son this test? And they're like, oh, because it costs, excuse me? It cost too much, right? You won't even offer it. They wanted to poke him like a million times. Like you have to tell me what you think he's allergic to. And that's the test that they give is an I ge, which is more for anaphylactic, say, like you eat a peanut and your throat swells, you take Benadryl. It's good. The half life of that is 24 hours. That's what they'll test you for. Not the really deep shit. Right. The stuff that just does it. Don't get me started on why? Yeah. Your whole life. Well, no, because that's, you know, I get I understand it's the, the pharmaceutical industrial complex, right? I mean, yeah, it's all about the money. Money? Yeah, I understand that, no, I think that's, And same with emotions. It's like. You know, I am a firm believer in counseling, coaching, all the things, try all the different things. figure out what's going on with you. Why the curiosity? Right. What's going on? Well, the what's the root of it? Let's get to the root of it. And there's so many ways to figure that out. That's that's interesting because both the things you're talking about, how you eat and the the panels that you run and how you, you're living nutritionally. and emotions, they both came up. I was reading this book that my mother in law gave me. it's called Outlive by Doctor Peter. It's he, I think is his name. But, this guy's a longevity doctor. That's what he does. Like, he's he's interested in how we can all not just live longer, but live healthier that entire time, that we have mobility, that we have, quality of life. He calls it health span. Right. that we have a longevity, but we also have a health span to go along with it so we can enjoy it. And he's been obsessed with this his whole life. And, but he was he was a workaholic. And he he, he, he was dedicated to living a long time. And he ate. Right. And he did all this nutrition stuff. A lot of the stuff you're talking about, studied that. He he studied the medicines that he could take to to make. But I guess the last chapter or to go into emotions that goes into how you feel and that it's hard to quantify, scientifically. There's some studies out there. Right. But, you know, obviously the less stress you are, the more healthy you will be. There are studies that want us to quantify that, but that emotions and how you perceive life and how you feel about yourself and how you interact with other people massively impact your your longevity along with your nutrition, along with, you know, how you're able to, especially physically exercise and, you know, keep your, your cardio going and stuff. But, yeah, I think that's that's really interesting that you talk about, nutrition and you transition to emotions because I this book was very much into both of those things. I wrote it down. I'll add that to my list. But, you know, and and this is why I talk so much about so much about trauma, right? In emotions is because we as a society live in fight or flight. So we live in our, sympathetic state when that is happening, you create an acidic environment because cortisol is pumping through your system all the fucking time. So that's just one aspect of it, right? And so you are literally on high all the time. And so then you couple that with all the toxins, your body can't tell the difference between emotional stressor and a chemical stressor. So your body reacts the same way is if you cook with a nonstick pan that is giving off, harmful toxin, as in you're stressed out from a day's work. So you look at that and the Wonder Society is fucked up because we're just way overloaded, right? So, emotions when what you do to one, you do to another. So if you take care of the emotions, you take care of the body, you take care of the body, you take care of the emotions. And so that's why I work from both sides of the spectrum at the same time. Sometimes it's really hard for people to start at the emotions. Okay, take a really good multivitamin, start giving your body some of what it needs. It will be. Then start creating a very alkaline environment which will allow you to begin to open up your mind more. Oh, you don't want to start there. Let's start talking about emotions. Okay? Let's create some safety. What happens? Your fight or flight goes down. You start going into parasympathetic mode. Your your p-h goes to alkaline. It's the same thing. So if we're going on both sides of the spectrum then we're taking care of the whole person. The whole person. Yeah exactly. I think that's what it comes down to you. Right? Taking care of the whole person. And I mean, you kind of when you introduced yourself earlier, you said it's about mind, body and soul, and really that's the whole person. That's the whole thing. So I love that. Is there anything that we haven't covered yet that you think that we need to cover everything else, all the other, all the other stuff. All the other stuff? Yeah. No, this is amazing. I really appreciate it. And, so we've had your link scrolling a couple times. We've, we put it up on the screen a few times. Is there anywhere else you'd like to direct people to or point out for anybody, Linktree is the best because it's all there. My discord, the community, the tribe is there. My podcast I am part of the podcast connection Network. There's other amazing, podcast hosts that talk about similar things. If you know anything that I talked about resonates, you'll probably really like their podcast as well, so you can check them out. That's all in my link tree as well. and yeah, and I give a shout out to the podcast connection Network. I've been on another one of those podcast and she was also a great host, so I oh yes, yes, she is amazing. Good people. Yes. Thank you. and yeah, I think that's it. Okay. Well, thank you so much for, being our first guest and, sticking with the, the audio, issues in the beginning. And, everybody, thanks for watching. And, Amber, I'm going to take us off and leave it where you can stick around for a minute if you want. Yeah, yeah. For sure. Thank you guys, I appreciate you. Thank you, everybody, for joining in. Yeah. Everybody have a good night. Take care. See you next week. Next Friday at seven Central.